Jodi Sky Rogers is a Fertility Support Coach, Author and Our Seva Motherhood Circle community member. Her personal experience with PCOS, fertility challenges and pregnancy loss over the past seven years inspires her to support women going through similar experiences. She is passionate about creating soulful fertility, mindfulness and trying-to-conceive self care resources and tools to support women on their fertility journey. She recently published a new Kindle book, called Daily Cup of Fertility Calm, a 14-day tea meditation devotional for anxiety relief during the “two week wait”, which is often a stressful time for women who are trying to conceive. Please welcome Jodi as she shares her intimate story navigating the daily anxieties that often accompany the path towards motherhood. Thanks Jodi!
Jodi Writes…
Discovering the the unspoken spaces of motherhood:
When your mind is racing and your body succumbs to the grips of anxiety, how do you release it all and reconnect with your inner calm?
I’ve had to ask myself these kinds of questions many times in recent years, especially through the challenges of trying to conceive and experiencing pregnancy loss. These things take a massive toll on us – mind, body and soul – yet so often we carry our burdens silently (Our Seva likes to call these the unspoken spaces of motherhood). In the initial years of my journey, I struggled immensely. My longing to have and hold my baby grew into a deep and profound ache as the prospect of becoming a mother felt more and more elusive. Depression set in, I felt disconnected from life and lost my trust in my body.
Finding safe & sacred spaces within:
Fortunately, at some point during a really low period in my life, I somehow gathered the strength to start creating a shift. This shift came about very slowly by taking small mindful steps to nurture myself each day. I soon found that tending to my inner self was an important part of preserving both my sanity and my emotional wellbeing. Leaning into grounding practices and routines offered me a sense of stability, inner calm and helped restore a positive outlook.
Self-care and mindfulness practices became gentle touchstones that anchored me in the present. They allowed me to cope better. There were many practices that I turned to – meditation, nature walks, yoga, working with my breath, journaling and art therapy. One thing that I’ve found most nourishing is my daily tea meditation ritual. As a tea enthusiast, I guess it’s felt so natural to lean into a daily practice that asks nothing of me other than to brew a pot of tea. I then sit down with a soothing cup as I simply disconnected from the mind chatter and take a moment to ground myself while sipping it. This simple act still feels like a deeply therapeutic experience.
In essence it opens up a safe and sacred space within me, where I can breathe, surrender and feel held in self-compassion.
A year ago, I hit another bump in my path to motherhood. I had an ectopic pregnancy and ended up having emergency surgery. I lost not only my baby, but a piece of my fertility too, since my right fallopian tube had ruptured and had to be removed. It was a devastating experience that took several months to recover from emotionally. It took everything that I had in me to work through the various layers of grief.
When I eventually felt ready to get back to trying to conceive again, I was overcome with unexpected bouts of anxiety and panic attacks. Trying to conceive has triggered post-traumatic stress disorder. My anxiety seemed heightened around my fertile window and the last two weeks of my cycle, the period of time referred to as the “two week wait” where you are waiting to find out if you are pregnant or not. Many women consider this time to be one of the most stressful periods of one’s fertility journey. It is a time where you are excited about the beautiful possibility of your body creating and bringing new life into the world. However, it is often also a time filled with moments of fear and anxiety as you start agonizing over whether or not things will happen for you.
The “two week wait” tends to trigger various negative beliefs about yourself and your body. In my case, I struggled with the fear that if I get pregnant again it would turn out to be another ectopic pregnancy. I guess that once you’ve experienced the worst case scenario the mind always goes to that place expecting that it will happen again. You’re fearful of reliving the same trauma, but this time…not being able to survive it. And so you remain in fight-or-flight mode, tense, anxious and mistrusting. To your post-trauma afflicted mind the world is a dangerous place and so the panic attacks start to take hold.
I took time to go for holistic therapy sessions to help process all that I was experiencing. Once again, my self-care practices played a big part in helping me move through the anxiety, find some healing and rebuilding my trust in my body.
And of course, my tea ritual was a soothing balm that invited me to detach from the overwhelming sense of anxiety during the ‘two week wait’ and cultivate stillness within.
I incorporated fertility affirmations and visualizations as part of my daily tea meditations. It was grounding to have a daily devotional to read and reflect on as I savored the quiet moment. This sacred space made room for me to let myself shed my body’s tension and sink into a place of peace.
Navigating the past year has reinforced just how important it is to create soul-nourishing routines to turn to when the going gets tough. Whether you journal and connect with your inner wisdom or just take a few minutes to breathe into your heart space, it’s so healing to carve out space for YOU and do the simple things that allow you to return to inner peace and love. This is how I cultivate inner calm. This is what feeds my soul. It keeps me balanced, brings balm to my wounds and ultimately renews my faith in the possibilities that the future, however uncertain it seems, may bring into my life.
5 steps to to a grounding tea meditation practice:
1 – Gather your favorite tea and tea ware. What kind of tea do you love? Do you have a favorite tea cup or tea pot? Choose what you love, things that inspire or soothe you so that you make the experience as enjoyable and enriching for yourself as possible.
2 – When you are ready to begin, fill your kettle, boil some water and make a delicious cup or pot of tea. Centre yourself while you do. Focusing on gratitude, be mindful of how the tea and your breath gift you an opportunity to nourish both your body and soul. Once you’ve made the tea, sit down in a quiet place where you can enjoy some alone time.
3 – Take a few deep breaths and sip your tea mindfully. Notice the comforting warmth of your cup. Take in the aroma, savor the taste and enjoy your quiet moment. Use all your senses!
4 – Feel yourself relax and breathe easier, allowing your sense of inner peace to expand.
5 – When you feel that you are grounded and calm, take your time as you reflect on your centering thoughts, a mantra or affirmation. If you like, you can read something inspiring, journal or simply relax quietly in your own presence as you continue to sip your tea.
Join Our Seva Motherhood Circle
In the Our Seva Motherhood Circle private Facebook group, we support one another through the ever-expanding anxieties women on the path to motherhood navigate on a daily basis. We honor and support one another’s winding path, knowing that beauty can be birthed from the uncertainty. We inspire one another to tap into the whispers of our inner wisdom and rally behind the many grounding practices that seem to be able to bring us back to our sacred centers. Together, we are shifting cultural narratives around shifting identities, maternal mental health, cultural expectations and our sacred service to motherhood. I’d love it if you join us!
Join the Private Facebook Group →
Want to contribute your story?
Email hello@our-seva.com with “member story” in the subject line and tell us a little bit about how you’d like to share! The question we ask all guests is “What UNSPOKEN SPACES of womanhood/motherhood do you think deserve more attention?”