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013 – The Pursuit of Fully Arriving – A Personal Practice In Pure Presence

“Do not take your next step until you have arrived where you are. Then, step with full presence.” – David LaChapelle

As women and mothers, we have found ourselves in a predicament. The incessant cultural narrative tells us we need to be moving more quickly or we are going to miss out on whatever is coming around the corner. Our intuitive heart centers attempt to slow us down, putting on the breaks and creating an undeniable friction as we navigate to the places we are “supposed” to be. The F–O–M–O (fear of missing out) is a very real thing, proliferating misguided actions and leaving us grasping for things we never really meant for us. Unbeknownst to the collective, we’re instinctually just trying to keep up with the pace of change. Survival of the fittest, right?

As long as I can remember, I’ve always been one step ahead of myself…scheming about how I can outsmart the next logical step forward. Distrust in the natural unfolding, has resulted in only thriving when predictability and routine are present. It’s a sort of chronic, sometimes unconscious anticipation for the future, acting as a Do-It-Yourself shield against what might be brewing to throw me off my axis. I’m not sure where this guttural response to life took root, but living from this vibratory state has dampened and exhausted my inner wisdom, as I’m always challenging the intuitive nature of her requests.

The flurry of energy I’ve got going on internally must be radiating with intensity, as I’ve been subject to the not-so subtle observations by those near and dear.
They say, “You never seem to be fully satisfied with where you’re at.”
In regards to being a homemaker they say, “You’re always seeking the next thing.”
As for mothering, I’ll hear, “You need to take a moment to soak it in!”
And in context of personal relationships, they’ll utter, ”Do you even hear me?”

With a bruised ego and countless defensive explanations, it would be wise to assume they are onto something. It’s time to fully arrive.

 

 

My personal practice and the gift of mothering has cracked me open to the essence of life I’ve been breezing past for decades. As I’ve observed, there is something that happens with the arrival of a new soul. Vital information from the cosmos is brought earth side, resurrected in the form of a mother’s intuition. No longer are you able to ignore the whispers within, as they truly become your lifeline while navigating a normal Monday with a toddler in tow. 

Accustomed to micromanaging and overly anticipating the future has left me in a place where a new rhythm and relationship to control is painstakingly being born. With a lot of trial and error, I’m starting to grasp how the energetics of this chronic push forward creates a vibration that is no longer sustainable or in alignment with my heart’s truest desires.

Subtly and sometimes ruthless in my pursuit, I’ve been reaching for things outside of my control, setting myself up for disenchantment with every step.

I no longer want to take action from a place that might obstruct the process of who I am becoming. I want to live in the “right now” so that I model to my daughter that there is a way to do things differently. 

 

 

Arriving at the glorified place of pure presence takes a deep practice, a spiritual awakening, a full-body softening, and a surrender to how you thought things were going to be. It most certainly is a recipe for a full-blown freak out and potential quarter/mid-life crisis. The process of fully arriving will require self-observation on a moment by moment basis, obnoxiously accessing where you’ve placed your focus and most likely course correcting to a more sustainable alternative. Like I mentioned earlier, now as a mother, there really is no other option if I’m going to be one of the fittest in this game of survival.

The practice of arriving has been a more monumental awakening than I expected. With daily, active participation in softening and surrendering, an awareness and appreciation for all things uncertain have surfaced. I haven’t quite found “comfort” in uncertainty, but I’m on my way. The majority of the days, I have to put on pretend blinders and ear muffs, just to quiet the abundance of sensory noise that leaves me second guessing the process. Thankfully, I have gained a new ability to observe beautiful synchronicities that I know have always been displayed in plain sight, which provide that daily incentive to keep going.. Slowly, I’m reconnecting the broken tether between my actions and the whispers from my inner voice, building up trust in the natural flow of things and allowing for purposeful strides towards the future. I’m no longer overriding grace, and WOW…what a thing.

As a collective, we will continue to navigate personal transformation and life transitions, because that’s what we signed up for. Wonky cultural narratives will continue to provoke us, proving that a healthy relationship to our inner wisdom has never been more important. And as the pace of life continues to pick up speed, it’s those of us who consciously choose to let go to the ever-changing undercurrent, that will arrive in due time. Bon voyage!

 


 

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In the Our Seva Motherhood Circle private Facebook group, we support one another on the journey of fully arriving. We inspire one another to tap into the whispers from our inner wisdom and rally behind the personal practices that are in full support of our sacred centers. Together, we are challenging cultural narratives around personal transformation, inner & ancient wisdom, mental health, and our sacred service to motherhood.  I’d love it if you join us!

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This personal narrative was written in response to Wing of Effort, Wing of Grace, written by Jan Birchfield. 

Cover Photo Cred: @mer_mer_meredith

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